Self-doubt is the negativity that we harshly express toward ourselves, but this can easily rub off on others. We talk ourselves out of our own capabilities, and in turn, by sharing this with others, they begin to question their own ability. How common is this? In particular, in the workplace or at home.
Continue reading Doubt Words: What Are Those?Should AI Have Rights?
Views vary on what has ultimately become a sensitive topic as AI (Artificial Intelligence) continues to become smarter, get enhanced human features (emotionally & physically), and interact with people just as any other person would. But what “human” rights does an AI have?
Continue reading Should AI Have Rights?
Why Is My Employment Gap Relevant?
It is all too common to be asked about your employment background during a job interview, as expected. How much of it is actually relevant to the application process, and how much of it is bias taking place before the job offer is presented?
Continue reading Why Is My Employment Gap Relevant?Love at First Sight: Genuine Emotion or Shallow Desire?
How many times have you heard the phrase “I knew s/he was the person I would marry when I first saw him/her. It was love at first sight.” Is starting a relationship built upon lust healthy?
Continue reading Love at First Sight: Genuine Emotion or Shallow Desire?Has A Reliance On Technology Failed the Future?
I often ask myself, “what would it be like to turn off technology and step away from the world?” I don’t mean for a few hours. I mean weeks, months, or years.
Are we capable of such madness? I’m not sure if I should be sad or accepting when I walk into a restaurant and see couples each with phones out; ironically, posting to social media about what a great time they’re having.
What else has technology incapacitated us from? Relationships are a bit more obvious. Who doesn’t want attention from strangers that you never have to see in person?
I’ve noticed technology change and enhance over time, but my biggest disappointment in technology was the first time I saw a book robot. It’s as intimidating and frustrating as it sounds. Read about the monstrosity here.
I recall being in the library and slowly watching the books disappear into the abyss, i.e. the robot. I loved the smell of the books. It’s a smell you can only find in antique stores, thrift stores, or libraries that still have actual books.
Eventually, the school moved all books to the top floor only, until there were none. This new initiative was focused on providing more meeting areas and conference rooms. Four stories of round tables and computers seemed excessive.
It felt a lot like cancel culture. The majority ask and they shall receive.
Is this all making us more resourceful? It’s so simple to write a sentence and have an app not only tell you what words are incorrectly spelled, but if they aren’t in context. This is fun until you start a game of Scrabble or Taboo.
I’m not against technology, but while it’s making us smarter, it is undeniably making us, well, dumber. It’s embarrassing to witness in the workplace. Every conversation shouldn’t end with, “let me look that up.”
Where does that leave the future? We can say that we’re too far advanced for such a thing to happen…but what if it did?
The crash of technology could be the wipeout of humankind. Simply by disappearing. Covid happened, so it certainly is possible.
Are we willing to challenge ourselves to our capabilities without it? Can we see how resourceful we really by using instincts and our own sense of direction?
We have invested any remaining intellect not only into technology but into our reliance on it. Where does that leave the future? Are we going backward or forward?
What’s Your Mindfulness? It Doesn’t Have to be What You Think.
When you think of mindfulness, where do your thoughts take you? Sitting uncomfortably in a sitting position ignoring the nausea that follows?
That isn’t a knock to those actively practicing. I commend you for patience and commitment. I also believe we should acknowledge that it isn’t for everyone, and that’s okay, too.
Mindfulness isn’t some elite party in which you aren’t on the guest list. The outcomes can be achieved in ways that personally work for you. But, how?
I’ve tried meditation countless occurrences. My partner meditates daily, and I have joined in many times in hopes that it will deepen our connection in some way, but we’ve come to accept that this is simply where we differ.
At first I thought, maybe there was something wrong with me or I’m failing at grasping the basic concept.
As mentioned above, I truly did get lightheaded during these practices. It was either not working or not resonating. Regardless, after thinking about it now, I realized that I was already achieving the same outcomes as meditation but utilizing other means to do so.
What is the benefit of mindfulness? Simplistically, it is a way to reduce stress and bring individual calm by being aware of your environment, breathing, thoughts, and overall sensations.
So far this is all still resonating.
To achieve the goal of mindfulness, most people practice meditation or focusing on the breath and being “mindful” of feelings and everything else taking place in that moment. This isn’t always an easy or comfortable task. I don’t mean that lazily.
The part that I do agree on is that any mindfulness practice should be in a quiet place. However, it could also be in a calming place. This could get tricky if there are distractions.
Here are a few things to keep in mind:
- Sound: choose music or sounds that aren’t loud and don’t have words.
- Location: the environment is essential. If your eyes will be open, you don’t want to see a lot of movement.
- Smell: this may seem odd, but choose the smell beforehand. You don’t want to begin noticing that something is irritating your nose and start sneezing everywhere.
- Temperature: being comfortable will enhance the experience as opposed to only noticing that you’re sweating or need a blanket for cover!
- Set an intention: before jumping into it, have a chat with yourself about what you want to happen. This can certainly heighten your awareness.
When “regular” meditation wasn’t working for me, I decided to go a different direction. It may sound crazy, but the shower is my isolated spot for being mindful.
Nature is my happy place! But, it isn’t readily available during winter in the Midwest. Showers are the closest I can get to the outdoors when there’s snow out. If I close my eyes, I keep the focus on the sound of the water. If my eyes are open, my attention is focused on the water itself, and how it feels on my skin; the various parts of my body that it touches. If my mind wanders, I refocus on the physical feelings taking place. I highly recommend getting a shower pillow, by the way, if your shower has enough space for your entire body to lie flat. Discomfort will quickly kill the moment.
Light some candles, start a diffuser, get a bluetooth speaker, turn the bathroom into your official place of calm, escape, and rejuvenation! The outcomes will be rewarding, but research and try out other ways that work. Traditional meditation isn’t the only way to a therapeutic experience. Reflect on your likes and dislikes about it, and start a routine of alternatives!
Shout to the World: I’m Leaving Social Media!
Announcement or Outcry?
Anyone who has been on social media has heard the infamous cringe worthy line “I’m taking a break from social media, I need time to [insert arrogant activity no one cares about].” One week later, “here are all of the pictures from my break, I missed you all!” One week? Does that count? Is that even long enough to regain mental cleansing? I’d also assert that you don’t actually miss anyone who you wouldn’t pick up your phone to call, or even text.
So, why is that attention from strangers or distant acquaintances and relatives so important? That last part reminds me of a pretty significant keyword: relative… relevance. Who doesn’t want to feel relevant to hundreds of people at once? Only to have those same hundred people rip your confidence to shreds simply by not liking or commenting on a photo (I can assure you they all say it, by the way, but many people deal with their own social media anxiety simply by pretending not to be online at all).
I truly do believe that everyone on social media should take “real” breaks. Once a month or longer. If you find yourself frequently glorifying others’ lives, then it’s time for a break. Like yesterday, not today. Two hours ago, not right now!
I do get it. There are several reasons that we turn to social media: boredom, recognition, inclusiveness, [simulated] relationships, entertainment, and so much more. We often turn to it for what’s missing in our lives: love, lust, fulfillment, short interactions, and so on. When we take a “break,” we lose those basic needs (wants, really, that we’ve convinced ourselves we can’t live without) that are missing from real life. That would explain why the relapse is so quick.
If someone truly cares about taking a break from social media, they’d do it. I am by no means saying it’s easy to do so. It does take conditioning to prepare for something you’ve committed to and developed as a habit. This is coming from someone who ditched social media for 6+ years.
Even now, I only have Instagram, which I log into about every few months to look at cute fluffy animals or write something related to nature or blogging; and LinkedIn, which is treading the thin line of shaved ice as becoming a political and Meta cesspool. I’d like to say that’s disappointing, but that’d contribute to my point. Our expectations for social media far exceeds our, or any followers and friends, reality.
Back to the initial question. You know the answer. Think about if you’ve ever made a post about leaving or taking a break from social media. Were you serious or were you counting likes? Did you immediately log off or did you wait intently to receive last minute goodbyes in the comments, only to get a single response from a partner or parent. Did you use that time to rejuvenate and invest in yourself, or did you sneak peek at your local idols from another browser without logging in? It isn’t cheating if you aren’t logged in, right?
Get ahold of yourself! If you can’t text or call them then their fabricated social media lifestyle absolutely does not matter. You 135% got this! I understand that when boredom strikes, it seeps in like a thousand rattlesnake bites. Find your replacement habit. Challenge yourself to something new, or old. How many times did you start something only to stop because you were distracted by social media? Let’s reverse that! Pick up that “something,” and make social media work for your attention! Give yourself a schedule. Commit to an app timer, start small…like, no more than five minutes a day allowed.
That got long-winded, but I’d love to see so many more people realize that social media can be useful to keep in touch, but it can become toxic and obsessive. Find balance. Behind every post is an individual struggling with identity and who they really are. Don’t let the social media escape, trap, consume you.
Dig your way out of that cyber grave and bury that garbage with the very best of you flourishing beautifully on the surface.
Follow me & see you next time!
Valentine’s Day Crunch Time: Try This Hustle
Valentine’s Day is approaching…ready?
I’ve always appreciated receiving flowers, but let’s be honest, they’re overpriced and die quickly. I’m frugal and feel bad about anyone wasting that kind of money on me. Unless…
Continue reading Valentine’s Day Crunch Time: Try This HustleIs Marketing Impacting Our Ability to Feel Loved?
We’ve always had a love/hate relationship with the way marketers target us for their studies to make us vulnerable to their products. We feel emotional connections to actors in a studio, trained to pull on our heartstrings. For those with stronger immune systems, they bring anything out of their bag of tricks from the furriest puppies they can find to the baby with the fattest cheeks. All based on the science of what the general public finds acceptable or attractive.
How much does this impact our daily life and the expectations that we generate based on how a product made us feel? For example: you see a happy couple running through a park full of vibrant flowers, holding hands. “Beautiful white smiles.” By the end, the words appear that mention how starting a financial wellness plan will add to your happiness. None of these visuals actually have to do with this couple being happy, but it does make YOU believe that your relationship would have more smiles if you and your partner planned finances better.
So, what happens next? You’re ready to start a financial planning journey (i.e. spending money), and now you have to chew your partner out about how they don’t save well enough, or should invest to contribute to the mental wellness of the relationship. When they aren’t on board, you feel neglected, betrayed, overruled. Now what? You move on to the next feel-good product that distracts you from the previous failure.
There is usually a go-to product that makes us feel better overall. Something we’re committed to no matter what. It might be books, video games, TV, blogs, bubble baths, food…
The common theme above? These things all cost money in some capacity (or did at some point), or time. Even with those cheaper items or things we don’t think are influencing us, we’re still being surrounded by marketing tactics. Because nothing is free, right?
Those free things (in the virtual setting) generally have advertising everywhere. Even just going for a walk has its downsides. You see it on trash bins, passing vehicles, billboards, sidewalks, nothing gets missed to get your attention!
This can make us feel wanted, liked, a little.
Why do you think people take the time to answer telemarketer calls, and instead of using those three kill words that should end the call immediately, they hang up– knowing that the person will call right back. Saying “Do Not Contact me,” and holding the phone until they acknowledge this will end that frustration. But many people who know this still choose to answer and speak with this live person, even if just for a moment.
Maybe it has to do with expecting that someone will actually call you. Is it possible that our subconscious awaits that voice-to-voice and power over another individual?
We want to feel wanted. Marketing does just that, in an unfortunate and corrupt way.
The next time you walk into a store, observe if you walk left or right. Do you notice more of the eye-catching things to the right? What colors draw you in? Are the more colors that you notice, like red or softer colors?
What things are magnetizing to your eyes? Your ears? How are these things impacting your personal relationships?
Is It Rude to Send a Surprise Package During the Holiday Season?
It’s a time of appreciation! Right? Realistically, however, the standard holiday has changed drastically. Many people can travel without informing a relative or employer.
No one is opposed to gifts, generally. Until it’s unexpected and becomes a burden. Many people have non-traditional living situations. This might be that you travel a lot due to remote work, or staying between two homes if you split the time with a partner, or maybe you take care of a relative so many days per week.
The conundrum is that people become overly giving this time of year without casually checking first. I’m certainly not saying you should share these details, but I do think if someone is sending you something, then it’s helpful to pass along that information first.
Just today I received a Christmas card in the mail. It read something to the effect of, I saw your social media post and wanted to see how you were doing. I hope things are going well with you and the kids. I’m not on social media (expect #Wordpress), and I do not have kids. The card was not for me, I realized.
It’s a kind gesture, but based on the language used it became clear that this was written by someone who had not seen or heard from this person for a very long time. Perhaps reaching out for a current address to confirm that it’d be okay to send “something.”
I have noticed this a lot with jobs. Instead of checking with employees about a “mailing address,” they rely on poorly developed payroll management software that will only allow a “living address” for the purpose of taxes.
So, here you are 90 miles away and see a #Slack that Christmas gifts are being sent out and you will receive them by XYZ date. It is two-day shipping. Now, you have to scramble to find someone to run to get it if you’re in an apartment or area that is easily viewed from a distance.
At a minimum, the sender should send a tracking number. I hope this doesn’t come off as self-absorbed. This applies to those working in an office setting, generally, but also distant friends and relatives that may not be familiar with your situation.
The only point that I am making is just to check in with someone. I’m sure they’d appreciate hearing from you much more than receiving a gift, anyhow. Mental health can dry up this time of year, and it always helps to know someone is thinking of you, not just throwing money at you as means of expressing care.
Continue to express gratitude! Just be sure to revert back to the traditional verbal (not virtual) hello every once in a while.
Behind the Fog: The Peaks & Valleys of Life. 
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