Self-doubt is the negativity that we harshly express toward ourselves, but this can easily rub off on others. We talk ourselves out of our own capabilities, and in turn, by sharing this with others, they begin to question their own ability. How common is this? In particular, in the workplace or at home.

For example, it’s a morning meeting and everyone is asked to share how they did with sales the day before. Person A is ready to share that they had a really great call with a client and they’re confident that they will close today. They’re even going to ask for a referral to generate new business and they know they’ve provided a good enough service that the client will introduce a new contact.

Person B, however, is frustrated and ready to share that nothing is working. They’ve called a client five times and in each instance, that person has an excuse for not wanting to move forward. They don’t know what else to do but although it’s unlikely the client will change their mind, they’re hoping to implement the recent training processes from the week prior.

Person B goes first. After hearing Person B share their obstacles, Person A changes the approach. Now, they word it as: I think I could close today, but I’m not sure just yet. They might give me a referral, maybe, but I won’t know for sure. I’m hoping they answer so I can try asking. Just like that, their confidence is shattered!

Person B has successfully persuaded Person A to use doubt words.

How many doubt words did you count above? There are plenty to choose from. I’ll share the most common below. We often use these words as fillers to satisfy our uncertainty in ourselves, in others, or in the business.

Work isn’t the only place where this happens. It takes hold of our personal lives. Procrastination is a prime example. Think about all of the reasons that you may have to put off chores, or date night.

• I’d hoped we could go out tonight, but I got busy with work.
• I didn’t make it out in time for the trash to be picked up, I’ll try to be more aware next time.
• It’s unlikely we can take a vacation this year, finances are tight.
• I haven’t been able to do my chores, I’ve been really tired.

Examine the scenarios above. How can we turn doubt words into Trust Words?

• I want to go out tonight. Let me look at my schedule so we can be sure it’s on the calendar for next time.
• I gathered the trash for pick up. Let me create a calendar appointment so I’m sure to take it out before they arrive.
• I’m saving money. Let’s think about cheaper alternatives so we can enjoy a weekend or day trip together.
• Chores are really building up. Let’s go over an arrangement to even out duties.

Coming up with alternatives to doubt words is about taking action, accountability, and building trust. It will look different for everyone. When you rewrite a doubt statement, it should be with the goal of following the trust statement, You aren’t writing for the sake of making yourself feel better. If you know that you don’t actually want to go out, then the rewrite above won’t work.

Instead of: I don’t feel like going out tonight. Which could come off as rude and aggressive, you can word it as: I’d like to do XYZ instead of going out. What are your thoughts about that?

Here are the common doubt words that I’ve come across:

• But
• Can’t
• Couldn’t
• Didn’t
• Don’t
• Haven’t [been able to…]
• Hopefully
• Never
• Not
• Nothing
• Try
• Won’t
• Wouldn’t/Would have
• Unlikely

There are much more than this, and what you see in your daily life will be much different from what I encounter. Now, it’s important to note that the words above aren’t always negative. For example, I won’t be attending the party or I don’t eat eggs.

Doubt statements aren’t the same as fact statements, and fact statements do not have to be followed by explanations, especially in a professional setting.

Use caution, however, if you notice that you use doubt statements casually and frequently. Awareness is where it starts. Count how many doubt words you use in a day, tally it up, and let me know how it goes!