It’s a time of appreciation! Right? Realistically, however, the standard holiday has changed drastically. Many people can travel without informing a relative or employer.

No one is opposed to gifts, generally. Until it’s unexpected and becomes a burden. Many people have non-traditional living situations. This might be that you travel a lot due to remote work, or staying between two homes if you split the time with a partner, or maybe you take care of a relative so many days per week.

The conundrum is that people become overly giving this time of year without casually checking first. I’m certainly not saying you should share these details, but I do think if someone is sending you something, then it’s helpful to pass along that information first.

Just today I received a Christmas card in the mail. It read something to the effect of, I saw your social media post and wanted to see how you were doing. I hope things are going well with you and the kids. I’m not on social media (expect #Wordpress), and I do not have kids. The card was not for me, I realized.

It’s a kind gesture, but based on the language used it became clear that this was written by someone who had not seen or heard from this person for a very long time. Perhaps reaching out for a current address to confirm that it’d be okay to send “something.”

I have noticed this a lot with jobs. Instead of checking with employees about a “mailing address,” they rely on poorly developed payroll management software that will only allow a “living address” for the purpose of taxes.

So, here you are 90 miles away and see a #Slack that Christmas gifts are being sent out and you will receive them by XYZ date. It is two-day shipping. Now, you have to scramble to find someone to run to get it if you’re in an apartment or area that is easily viewed from a distance.

At a minimum, the sender should send a tracking number. I hope this doesn’t come off as self-absorbed. This applies to those working in an office setting, generally, but also distant friends and relatives that may not be familiar with your situation.

The only point that I am making is just to check in with someone. I’m sure they’d appreciate hearing from you much more than receiving a gift, anyhow. Mental health can dry up this time of year, and it always helps to know someone is thinking of you, not just throwing money at you as means of expressing care.

Continue to express gratitude! Just be sure to revert back to the traditional verbal (not virtual) hello every once in a while.