Tag Archives: Romance

Optimize: Health, Optimize: Relationships

Not All Wounds Are Visible

I read this phrase today, “not all wounds are visible,” and it made me think of love. Love is a constant wound that never heals. It just continues to reopen; sometimes slowly, at other times quickly. It’s sometimes painful and at other times we barely feel it. It’s self-inflicted; yet, given by those whom we thought were closest. Why can’t we seem to cure trauma?

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My Personal Optimization, Optimize: Relationships

Romance Yourself

“Treat yourself as if you already are enough. Walk as if you are enough. Eat as if you are enough. See, look, listen as if you are enough. Because it’s true.“
When was the last time you bought yourself something for a reason? Meaning, giving yourself a reward for a job well done. Adding incentives to those mini wins. 
 
It’s something I haven’t done enough. It’s encouraged by just about every habit book out there. We say that sounds like a great idea, I should start doing that. Then we don’t. 
 
Part of the problem is that we feel guilty about celebrating our wins. Giving oneself kudos feels like bragging about your accomplishments, which somehow rubs others the wrong way. This is also the issue. When we share with someone, we want them to say the typical well-done, pat on the back, and ice cream of your choice before it’s forgotten. But, you haven’t forgotten. Now you’re more frustrated that you aren’t being celebrated more. 
 
So? Celebrate yourself! Think of just five wins that you’ve had today, even if it hasn’t been the best day. Here are a few of mine: 
  • Started a new book and read over 30 pages; increased my daily reading goal to 60 pages. 
  • Completed a yoga class twice in one week. 
  • Completed all of the chores that I’ve put off from the previous week. 
  • Posted a review to my book club chat. 
  • Found a new strategy at work to make things more efficient. 
The points above are just about meaningless to anyone that just read it. BUT, they are all big and little achievements to me. It certainly is nice for someone to acknowledge that these things are important to me, but I’d have to also expect the same in return. Everyone has some sort of list of wins. 
 
Reflect on what yours are. What is one thing from that list that could be improved? Try it out, and reward yourself for implementation, effort, and consistency. 
 
It doesn’t have to cost money, either. Reward yourself with something that you never do, but have wanted to. For me, I love being outdoors (I do hate the cold, though!). A reward could be going for a short walk. Actually, going for the walk would be another win, as that is something I want more of in my routine. 
 
Your turn! Write out five wins from the day, and five inexpensive wins you could treat yourself with. 

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