I read this phrase today, “not all wounds are visible,” and it made me think of love. Love is a constant wound that never heals. It just continues to reopen; sometimes slowly, at other times quickly. It’s sometimes painful and at other times we barely feel it. It’s self-inflicted; yet, given by those whom we thought were closest. Why can’t we seem to cure trauma?

It starts with not knowing what love is or when we’re experiencing it. The pain is immediate but we ignore treatment. Maybe it begins with signs that the wound is opening, but we ignore it. Which turns into irritation, but we ignore it. This begins to ooze and become painful, but we ignore it.

Then…

It becomes infected and we realize an antiseptic is needed, but it’s too late. We have no control over it now. We’re forced to endure the pain, the outcome. We can fight for it; to save what’s left before the bacteria take over.

It’s too late. It’s been contaminated by outside agents. Exposed. “There’s nothing left to do.” Given up.

The wound is still open. It’s spread. Healing begins.

We can restart “love” over and over again. It will be nothing more than a satisfying opioid for the heart. A temporary fix if that first wound, that initial pain is never healed.

A continuous scratch to an ongoing intensifying itch. We settle on over-the-counter options for quick relief but know that we are dissatisfied, and disappointed, even, by the lack of fulfillment.

There has to be more. We have to seek more. We grab whatever options we see as available, quickly, we need them! The ingredients aren’t right. We know this. We grab the drugs anyway. A prescription to our growing pain because it is starting to hurt, again.

Something stronger is needed but we know this isn’t it. Yet, it’s…enough? Just enough. On the outside, at least. To outsiders, at least.

Inside, we’re breaking. The fentanyl isn’t strong enough, the pain is exploding. The love is still there. The new alternatives are revolting, but acceptable, for now?

What are we seeking? What are we finding? Is it really good enough or have we come to terms with the condition?

The standards are [mostly] met, well, somewhat met…a little met?

It’s finally soothing. The coolness that sets in. The cycle starts over. Don’t settle on love. Keep looking for love. Let love find you, but don’t settle.

Consider how much of your wound has been healed before moving on. Think about if you are seeking a temporary remedy to feel good right now. Remember that you are not the only one with wounds. If your laceration is not restored, you are opening someone else’s by using them for relief. You are contributing to their damage.

Let us all be careful, cognizant, and loving to ourselves and to others.