Tag Archives: Self-help

Motivation Is a Game of Hide & Seek: Hide Fear, Seek Inspiration.

How do you get motivated? Stay motivated? The holidays are that time of year that seasonal depression is alarmingly high. It’s difficult to care about getting out of bed, cooking dinner, or visiting family/friends. You are fully in control of your thoughts, reaction to triggers, and motivation.

We often hear that things take time. While that is true, I’d say get impulsive! Meaning, the self-help books just about all say do a 30 day this or 3 month that. For those of us already struggling, getting started is the hardest part.

It requires a bit of force and negotiating. To do that, you must hide your fears. Lock them away. However, thoughts don’t just disappear. At least for me, negative thoughts linger until they are released.

I recommend writing these down as they surface. It can be in a journal, an email, or even a sticky note. You never have to look at it again. You can delete that email or toss the sticky note and burn it! I guarantee you will feel a weight lifted.

Something else that I found helpful was creating a “wall of negativity.” Whenever I found myself thinking about something negative for more than a few minutes, I decided to pin it to a wall using colorful post-it notes. Once there, I felt a complete release.

I keep the wall within view as a reminder that: 1. I’ve already had this thought before so it isn’t worth revisiting. 2. How often am I having these negative thoughts? Admittedly, the wall went from just one to being nearly full, but after months of doing this, those toxic thoughts nearly disappeared!

In the event that this didn’t work, I moved it to a journal to expand more on its value in my life. This has been impactful in other ways. I’ve become more open-minded, encourage others to think positive, and have even expanded my social circle without assuming everyone is out to get me.

That last one is an ongoing work in progress but certainly not where it was a year ago.

For every negative thought that you have, require yourself to say something positive out loud. Keep affirmations nearby if you need ideas or find that difficult. There’s an app for that.

This Thanksgiving, I challenge you to hide your fears in the open where you can easily access them and track your progress. Seek uncomfortable new ways to soothe those feelings of self-deprecation, should statements, labels, and self-fulfilling prophecies.

Refocus that negative thinking on not thinking at all. When the thoughts come rolling in, don’t think about the feeling or why this is happening. Instinctively grab that pen, pad, and start jotting down the thoughts as they pour in. You will also gain perspective by seeing just how nasty thoughts can become. Many are about yourself in an unhealthy way.

I am sending you the best on trying a new approach! Start NOW!

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Getting in the Routine of Getting Out of Routines

I once knew someone who very much believed themselves to be in the mindset of never wanting to be stagnant; always seeking something “different” or exciting.

This same person, however, refused to eat at a restaurant that didn’t have Google reviews, alternated the same meals every week, took the same routes to the same places for “convenience,” and got weirded out by the idea of switching “their” side of the bed with a partner unless there was a justified reason. What is it that makes us feel good about saying we want the unconventional but staying committed to ordinary routines?

Let’s examine how we can fall out of the slump of “normal” without causing problematic disruptions.

Continue reading Getting in the Routine of Getting Out of Routines

When Do You Pull the Plug?

You’ve been in severe pain and no form of advice, remedies, medication, meditation, or just about anything else seems to help. You feel deceived by all the times you were told everything will be alright; just give it some time, things will get better, and everything will work itself out. More like: things people say when they have nothing to say. It’s much easier to admit that I wish I knew what you were going through. I can listen if you’d like.

Continue reading When Do You Pull the Plug?